Dealing With Criticism

Whenever you run into situations in which you are dealing with negative information, there are three appropriate responses. You may choose to use only one, but use three if the situation requires a more thorough response. In the end, there is no substitute for your best judgment. Normal responses- but exactly what not to do – is to get defensive, angry, depressed or seek revenge. To gracefully, tactfully and diplomatically turn the criticism around, you may try these responses.

ASK FOR DETAILS OR SPECIFICS

Ask the person to fully explain the nature of the criticism using open-ended questions such as who, what, when, where, why or how. You don’t want your questions to sound like an interrogation, but you also want to know the breadth and depth of the criticism so that you can address it completely and accurately. There is a tendency for criticisms to become exaggerated in the retelling so it’s important to understand the current version in the critic’s mind.

AGREE WITH THE CRITIC’S RIGHT TO AN OPINION

Mr. Critic is entitled to his thoughts on the matter.

SELF-DISCLOSE

You can add to this respond, if appropriate, by self-disclosing or explaining your situation. For example, unfortunately Mr Critic was unaware of the complex circumstances. Had he known all the details, they would have done what he did. This gives an opportunity for you to explain your procedures, what took place, etc…, to ease the mind of your critic. It’s very important to keep your voice in a calm, “explanatory” tone because there is a fine line between explaining yourself and sounding defensive. It’s all in how you sat it and how you look when delivering your words. Your voice accounts for 38% of the impact of your messages, and how you look ( facial expressions, eye contact, etc.) accounts for 55%. Together, your non-verbal signals impact93% of the message you deliver. Choose your words carefully, but, more importantly, keep your delivery style calm and professionals.

OTHER HINTS

Consider the validity before responding. Choose your respond carefully- the right blend of verbal, vocal and visual control. Respond to what is being said and not what your think is implied. ( Gets the facts.) Realize that criticism of behaviour is not a rejection of you as a person.

Source: The Borneo Post, sat, 07/03/09