1. A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce. She answered, 'Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian n yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth.'
2. Woman: 'Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out'. Doctor removes her panties and start making love. Woman: 'What are you doing?' Doctor: 'This is the only way to drown the bastard!'
3. Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
4. A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then b 4. Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised? Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!
5. Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty. GOD Said 'No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Su ck It. If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up!!
6. A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she was pregnant, she cried n said,'Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore.!'
7. A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked ' Do U have this? ' The girl lifted up her skirt & said, ' My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!'
8. Schoolgirl: 'I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION'. Class Teacher: ' Why not?' Schoolgirl: 'Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!'
9. Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the ad & is shocked ' 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!
10. What is the STRONGEST muscle? TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!. The lightest muscle? PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!
11. Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu. The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name? Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
12. Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant. Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..
13. COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party. BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
14. A baby dog asked mama dog how papa looks like? Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face' !
15. What's the difference between stress, tension & panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Unemployment
In USA- Debate as crisis spurs people to work for free
New York: With US unemployment at a 20-year high, some Americans are working for FREE while looking for jobs, but experts are split over whether it is a sign of dedication or desperation.( Malaysians are too busy to work for FREE!)
Dana Lin, 22, is one of the 14.7 million unemployed workers in the US. She lost her marketing job at a technology company near San Francisco in April and since then has been working for FREE for about five hours a week for Internet company Jobnob.com.
“Every company has thousands of people applying for each job, and I realized I needed more appeal.” ( epitome of a quality employee)
British Airways last month asked its British-based employees to volunteer for up to a month’s unpaid work.
The different……….
In Malaysia- Jobs aplenty but locals choosy
Job opportunities are aplenty but locals are choosy about jobs, making the country dependent on foreign workers to fill vacancies.
According to Assistant Minister of Infrastructure Development and Communication Datuk Lee Kim Shin; “ Unemployment does not mean our country or industries cannot provide people with jobs. Our locals are making themselves unemployed because of their choosy altitude. ( Unh, or our education system to be blamed, churning out thousands and thousands of UNEMPLOYABLE Gradutes every year!)
New York: With US unemployment at a 20-year high, some Americans are working for FREE while looking for jobs, but experts are split over whether it is a sign of dedication or desperation.( Malaysians are too busy to work for FREE!)
Dana Lin, 22, is one of the 14.7 million unemployed workers in the US. She lost her marketing job at a technology company near San Francisco in April and since then has been working for FREE for about five hours a week for Internet company Jobnob.com.
“Every company has thousands of people applying for each job, and I realized I needed more appeal.” ( epitome of a quality employee)
British Airways last month asked its British-based employees to volunteer for up to a month’s unpaid work.
The different……….
In Malaysia- Jobs aplenty but locals choosy
Job opportunities are aplenty but locals are choosy about jobs, making the country dependent on foreign workers to fill vacancies.
According to Assistant Minister of Infrastructure Development and Communication Datuk Lee Kim Shin; “ Unemployment does not mean our country or industries cannot provide people with jobs. Our locals are making themselves unemployed because of their choosy altitude. ( Unh, or our education system to be blamed, churning out thousands and thousands of UNEMPLOYABLE Gradutes every year!)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Gamblers sues casino for lost fortune
SEOUL: A former South Korean company boss who says he gambled away 30 billion won ( US$23.5 million) in three years is suing a casino for allegedly fuelling his addiction.
The man identified only as Chung, 67, is appealing a court ruling last November which ordered the Kangwon Land casino to pay him 2.8 billion won in damages.
Chung says this is not enough since between 2003 and 2006 he lost 30 billion won at the casino – the country’s only one authorized to admit Koreans under strict gaming laws.
The former head of a leather products company claims the government-run casino turned a blind eye to him making bets above the legitimate limit.
………………………………………………………………………………………
Interesting enough. Will it happen in our BolehLand?. Isn’t gaming a crime here, more so Malaysia is an `Islamic’ nation. Can one benefit from a crime one committed? maybe yse, maybe no. Depend on how adroitly is ones lawyer.
The man identified only as Chung, 67, is appealing a court ruling last November which ordered the Kangwon Land casino to pay him 2.8 billion won in damages.
Chung says this is not enough since between 2003 and 2006 he lost 30 billion won at the casino – the country’s only one authorized to admit Koreans under strict gaming laws.
The former head of a leather products company claims the government-run casino turned a blind eye to him making bets above the legitimate limit.
………………………………………………………………………………………
Interesting enough. Will it happen in our BolehLand?. Isn’t gaming a crime here, more so Malaysia is an `Islamic’ nation. Can one benefit from a crime one committed? maybe yse, maybe no. Depend on how adroitly is ones lawyer.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Stressed at work? You’re not alone
FEELING stressed and overworked and burned out? You’re certainly not alone these days.
Layoffs and other workforce reductions have left so called survivors with increased workloads and other challenges, according to a new survey of more than 4400 workers by CareerBuilder.com.
Nearly half of the workers said they have taken on more responsibility because of a layoff, while 37% said they are handling the work of two people. The survey also found that 34% of workers are spending more time at the office, and 22% are working more weekends.
“Not only will this impact you personally but this is something that’s impacting productivity overall,” says Jennifer Grasz, a spokewoman at CareerBuilder. “When you have workers who are highly stressed and burned out, they’re not going to be performing at the same level.”
CareerBuilder offers some tips on how to keep your stress level in check.
Ø Take some time to recharge
Another CareerBuilder survey found that 35% of 4400 workers survey said they haven’t gone on or aren’t planning to take a vacation this year. Nearly one in five workers said they’re either afraid of losing their jobs if they do or feel guilty about being away.
Grasz says, “Workers need to recharge. It’s counterproductive not to take the time off,” she says.
Ø Prioritise your tasks
Speak to your superior to get feedback on what you should tackle first.
“So that it doesn’t feel like 10 things have to be done in one day,” Grasz says.
Ø Cut the e-leash
That means when you’re on vacation, don’t check your e-mail or voicemail.
“ Says Grasz: “ You need the time to get away from the office, recharge and bring the stress levels down so that when you come back, you could tackle projects more effectively.”
Ø Try to ignore rumours.
Getting caught up with gossip can also distract you from work
If your concerns are serious enough, talk to your supervisor or human resources.
Otherwise, “it’s more important to stay focused on being effective in the things you’re working on,” Grasz said.
She added.” It’s also going to serve you within the organization if you’re known to be
someone who’s working hard.”
Source; THE BORNEO POST
……………………………………………………………………………………………..
When someone says, “ I’ve been working really hard,” or “I’m really stressed out,” we are taught to admire, even emulate their behaviour.
Maybe when one’s schedule is getting out of hand, it’s time to slow down and reevaluate what’s important and urgent rather then power through everything on the list.
Stress management is one option but I believe stress consultants are stressed out too!
And of course we are not alone and would never be alone as what I myself experienced in my job.
Layoffs and other workforce reductions have left so called survivors with increased workloads and other challenges, according to a new survey of more than 4400 workers by CareerBuilder.com.
Nearly half of the workers said they have taken on more responsibility because of a layoff, while 37% said they are handling the work of two people. The survey also found that 34% of workers are spending more time at the office, and 22% are working more weekends.
“Not only will this impact you personally but this is something that’s impacting productivity overall,” says Jennifer Grasz, a spokewoman at CareerBuilder. “When you have workers who are highly stressed and burned out, they’re not going to be performing at the same level.”
CareerBuilder offers some tips on how to keep your stress level in check.
Ø Take some time to recharge
Another CareerBuilder survey found that 35% of 4400 workers survey said they haven’t gone on or aren’t planning to take a vacation this year. Nearly one in five workers said they’re either afraid of losing their jobs if they do or feel guilty about being away.
Grasz says, “Workers need to recharge. It’s counterproductive not to take the time off,” she says.
Ø Prioritise your tasks
Speak to your superior to get feedback on what you should tackle first.
“So that it doesn’t feel like 10 things have to be done in one day,” Grasz says.
Ø Cut the e-leash
That means when you’re on vacation, don’t check your e-mail or voicemail.
“ Says Grasz: “ You need the time to get away from the office, recharge and bring the stress levels down so that when you come back, you could tackle projects more effectively.”
Ø Try to ignore rumours.
Getting caught up with gossip can also distract you from work
If your concerns are serious enough, talk to your supervisor or human resources.
Otherwise, “it’s more important to stay focused on being effective in the things you’re working on,” Grasz said.
She added.” It’s also going to serve you within the organization if you’re known to be
someone who’s working hard.”
Source; THE BORNEO POST
……………………………………………………………………………………………..
When someone says, “ I’ve been working really hard,” or “I’m really stressed out,” we are taught to admire, even emulate their behaviour.
Maybe when one’s schedule is getting out of hand, it’s time to slow down and reevaluate what’s important and urgent rather then power through everything on the list.
Stress management is one option but I believe stress consultants are stressed out too!
And of course we are not alone and would never be alone as what I myself experienced in my job.
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